Bette Midler was Johnny Carson's last guest on "The Tonight Show."
With the help of her musical director Marc Shaiman and joke writer Bruce Vilanch, Bette serenaded her oft-married host with a novel rendition of Judy Garland's "You Made Me Love You." Their new lyrics?
You made me watch you.
I didn't wanna do it.
Jack Paar had put me through it.
You made me watch you.
I love the jokes you're floggin'
when you are monologue-in'.
I watched your hair turn slowly
from dark to white,
and when I can't sleep
I count your wives at night
I'd drop my drawers for
the kind of bucks you're making
for simple double-taking...

[On another occasion, Johnny told Elizabeth Taylor that he had once been married to a Pisces. Her reply? "I'm sure you were!"]