The members of the Arkansas State Legislature once found themselves debating how to retain capital punishment in the face of a potential federal moratorium on the use of the electric chair. Fortunately, Representative Steve Smith (of Huntsville) suggested an amendment to the state Constitution which would allow for a suitable substitute:
"Drawing and quartering shall be performed by tractors, one driven by the Governor, one driven by the Commissioner of the Department of Corrections, one by the foreman of the convicting jury, and one by the Arkansas Sheriff's Association."
Should a felon survive the ordeal, the amendment suggested that "molten lead be poured into his or her navel," and the body be disembowelled, beheaded, and displayed in the Capitol rotuna in Little Rock. Moreover, executions would be held in a public stadium, with priority seating (at the 50-yard line) reserved for the felon's family.
Sources
Ben Wicks` Book of Losers; National Observer
