"David and Victoria Beckham arrived in L.A. from England last week. She’s the former Spice Girl, he’s the famous soccer player. I guess we’re supposed to be excited about this, even though we don’t care about soccer or the Spice Girls. The L.A. Galaxy, a local indoor soccer team, paid out $250 million to sign him. They’re hoping he can do for soccer what Wayne Gretzky did for hockey, which means in 15 years no one will be watching soccer either." -- Jimmy Kimmel