MONEY

* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need because it's on sale.

BATHROOM

* A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from a hotel.
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 481. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS

* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

NAMES

* If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
* If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will very likely affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy

EATING OUT

* When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom are more likely to each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50.None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.
* When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

CATS

* Women love cats.
* Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE

* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife

SUCCESS

* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP

* A woman will dress up to go shopping, to water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

MORNINGS

* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.