"Congratulations to Matt Damon. His movie 'The Bourne Ultimatum' — the biggest movie opening ever in the month of August. It made $70 million. Today, Sen. John McCain asked Matt Damon to be his running mate. If you haven’t seen it, it’s about a guy who works for the government but can’t remember his past. The original title was 'The Alberto Gonzales Story.'" -- Jay Leno