Things No Real Man Would Ever Say

I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherf*cker!
While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
I think hairy butts are really sexy.
Her tits are just too big.
Sometimes I just want to be held.
That chick on 'Murder She Wrote' gives me a woody.
Sure I'd love to wear a condom!
We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
Screw the football game, let's watch 'Murphy Brown.'
I think we are lost, we better pull over and ask for directions.
No, I don't mind watching Thelma and Louise again.