Upmann (long)




Milton Berle was horrified by the American embargo which followed the Cuban missile crisis, albeit not for the typical reasons. "I knew two weeks before it happened that I'd no longer be able to buy Cuban cigars," he recalled. "So I decided to put in a supply of them. I went to Dunhill's and to every great department store in New York, like Saks, Bloomingdale's and places that had great tobacco departments. I was determined to buy up as many as I could.
"When I went into Saks and asked if they had any Upmanns, the salesman said he had a few left. I told him to trot them out, as I'd like to sample one. Which I did. But after a couple of puffs I pronounced, 'This is not an Upmann.' The salesman, a very polite young man, insisted that it was. 'Well, it doesn't taste like an Upmann,' I told him.
"Now there was a guy with a little moustache sitting on a couch nearby. He interrupted me and said, 'That's an Upmann.' Well, I got testy and cracked, 'Who asked you? I'm buying cigars, and I'm an expert on Upmanns. And I can tell you this is not an Upmann. I don't know what it is, but this is not an Upmann.'
"The guy on the couch said, 'but I can tell you it is an Upmann.' Finally, I turned at him and yelled, 'Will you shut up? I've had enough of you. Who the hell are you, anyway?' And he turned to me with a straight face and said, 'My name is Upmann. H. Upmann. And my father started the Upmann Cigar Company.'"

[Comedian Jeffrey Ross once reminisced about Berle giving him fatherly advice and teaching him how to smoke cigars: "Thanks to Milton Berle," he said, "I now have two humidors -- and asthma!"]

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Sources

Cigar Aficionado, 1996; The New Yorker, 2002-05-20


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